AOCCares.org landing page sculpture collageSelf Compassion and Healing from Divorce

A new study from researchers at the University of Arizona says that self-compassion is a key attribute in healing from the pain commonly felt by the newly divorced. The researchers concluded that a combination of kindness toward oneself, recognition of common humanity, and the ability to let painful emotions pass ‘can promote resilience and positive outcomes in the face of divorce.’

The study appears in an upcoming issue of the journal Psychological Science.

Study co-author David Sbarra said that when looking at a variety of personality traits, such as self-esteem, optimism, or ease with relationships, ‘this one characteristic — self-compassion — uniquely predicts good outcomes.’

This concept of ‘self-compassion’ is high on our radar, as I write about my recovery from a serious gym injury that has haunted me for almost two years and my good fortune of connecting with Philadelphia body psychotherapist and now good friend Elle Gayda.

Una Burke’s designs are inspired by historic tragic events and body accessories that convey stages o a healing process. Her conceptual wearable art pieces are associated with the cause, the physical and psychological effect and the healing stages of human trauma.Body Psychotherapist Ellen Gayda Defines ‘Body Inhabitance’ | Do You Live in Your Body or Have You Gone Fishing? AOC Health & Happiness

Ellen cured my gym injury within a week, snapping my dislocated pubic bone into place. Unfortunately, my physical therapist didn’t go looking in my pubic bone zone, focusing instead on the sprained/strained muscle theory of gym injury. Many of the exercises I was doing to correct the problem only caused me more pain and suffering.

I would love to say that Ellen Gayda fixed my problem; I hopped off her massage table and was back on the treadmill at 4.7 mph or the elliptical machine for 60 minutes — 90 if I wanted to make a point to myself.  My recovery from months of muscle degeneration and lack of exercise has been much more difficult, leaving me to feel like Rocky Balboa yesterday when I hit 3.5 and maintained the pace.

It was at that moment that I looked in the mirror and found the Anne I love again, after months of being angry, frustrated and judgmental with myself over my physical deterioration. Having lost 20 of the 30 pounds that I gained in the last two years, I’m ready again to explore again for all of us.