I’m in this weird juxtaposition of words and images on the London Times. On the one hand, I’m reading a delicious article Stars sex it up for photographer Ellen von Unwerth. But this extraordinarily unsexy woman keeps looking at me to the right.
After all their writing on body image, the London Times hasn’t changed all that much.
After declaring the skinny minnie dead a couple months ago, in more than one writing, this woman to the right is my role model — staring at me as I read about photographer Ellen von Unwerth’s knack for photographing genuinely sexy women — women who like sex.
As I explained to my new friend who has tantalizing visions of me in a two-piece bathing suit — fine. I can lose 10 pounds and perhaps 15.
If I do 20, that makes me a size 6, with an 8” wrist. For me, that’s as thin as I ever aspire to be and still be sexy.
Truly I am big-boned. The only prize I ever won in life was an expensive white gold bracelet at a major charity event — and it didn’t fit.
Crushed, I gave it to my then-partner’s daughter.
I was a size 6 for about a month in my life, but my weight that I work to maintain keeps me an 8 or 10, depending on the label and cut.
Still, I was not annoyed with him, because even I remember the size 6 with some wishful thinking. “Beyond that,” I said. “I will lose my libido.”
Now THIS was a serious statement, coming from a woman like me.
“Really?” he asked me. “If you lose too much weight, you can lose your libido?”
“Yes, I’m not kidding you,” I responded. “Do you think I — of all people — would make a joke like this?”
My friend can have his pick of beautiful women. I’ll say no more, because his pride is staying out of Google, not in it.
But the look on his face when I connected his desire that I be as thin as humanly possible with the potential of lost libido was — seriously earnest, given the fact that our sexual chemistry could sink The Titanic, before we lay a hand on each other. It’s well known that when a woman’s BMI drops into 18 and below, she suffers significant health consequences and the negative impact on her sexual hormones is on the list.
In fact, he thinks I look fabulous but there is this society thing. And Chanel dresses. Even I have nightmares about the sales woman standing in the dressing room saying “Monsieur, your Madame does not have the figure of a Chanel femme.
In fact, I may be a lost cause at Chanel, and I’m trying to warm him up for Donna Karen. These matters take time.
But even monsieur says “You look fantastic in strapless.” Translated, I have very broad shoulders, but he is right. And halters, too, even if the Muslim man in Brooklyn did want to send me off to the local mosque for lessons in how to dress properly.
Many of the world’s most beautiful women do not actually look like they enjoy sex. They are looking for a post on the pedestal, or a laison with a sugar daddy.
Crazy as it sounds, very thin, size zero ice-queen women often have no interest in sex In the same way that I don’t want to wear a burqa, I have no desire to be a zero. I much prefer being an imposing, sensual woman, with muscles.
My body is more like Michelle Obama’s than anyone else, and I am proud of my muscles and strong appearance.
“Ellen von Unwerth’s ladies, however, are clearly enjoying themselves. More than that, they seem entirely happy on their own, though they might be even happier if another person were there. The idea projected is that their world is complete, full, brimming over, and another person would be extra. So that’s another thing that is sexy: independence, self-possession, even narcissism. (And the converse is decidedly not sexy: clinginess, need.)” via Stars sex it up for photographer Ellen von Unwerth.
Annoyed with the London Times for posting “that woman” up there to our right, I like this copy to describe a Smart Sensuality woman.
Having made this pitch for women who look like they belong in an Ellen von Unwerth campaign, indeed I have agreed to “see what I can do.” It’s not all that much really 15-20 pounds.
Trust me, though, I will never look like Ms. Toby up there in the corner.
Please, dear fashion editors. stop beating every ounce of estrogen out of us, so that we look like boys. We are FEMALES, and most females have curves. There are some genuinely gorgeous women, blessed with a gamine figure and the stealth of a gazelle, but they are rare.
Even for the vast majority of us who try hard to be our physical best, we have curves. Enough! Anne