Serena Williams Needs to Spend a Month or Two in Northern Pakistan

The purpose of this RedTracker then is to report that Serena Williams has made a pointed apology, giving evidence of the degree to which she left most of us “aghast” over her unprofesional and unwomanly behavior in the U.S. Open semifinals.

Serena Williams hits a ball while warming up for her doubles championship match at the U.S. Open on Monday. (Charles Krupa / Associated Press / September 14, 2009)Serena’s behavior puts people like myself in a box, wanting to support her but unable to do so publicly. The entire point of my article was to praise Serena’s ability to manage aggressive, competitive behavior — to harness her testosterone — with a strategic purpose of winning, but doing so with valor.

Trying to be true to the concept of a Smart Sensuality woman, I must withdraw my support of Serena. Her temper tantrum was a display of Modern, male-centric values that I do not endorse as a way forward. I’ve lived with people who display that kind of behavior, and it’s typically not an aberration.

I don’t feel now, that I know enough about Serena, to suggest that women should emulate her. Taking so long to apologize — having to amend her press release — suggest to me that her mother and PR agent have finally talked some sense into her. 

We all make mistakes and forgiveness is important. Yet, I take very seriously the people that I write about.  Trying to explain the wonderfulness of Smart Sensuality women has no meaning if Serena is considered one of us.

Therefore, I will add “withdrawn” to my article.  I can’t send such mixed messages to women around the world, where Anne of Carversville is devoted to supporting change in their lives.

I’ll fight for Lubna’s right to wear her trousers on the streets of Sudan, but I lose all respect with the men who oppress her, if I support Serena’s behavior or criticize any men for behaving as she has. Consistency is important to me.

Serena Williams can behave as a tennis bad girl, but other women’s lives are on the line around the world.

In fact, Serena’s macho behavior is exactly what’s wrong with the world — why we will blow each other up one day. I’ve said more than once that we American women can be spoiled brats, and regrettably, Serena just confirmed my point.

I also do not believe that a tirade like the one Serena displayed Sat. night comes out of nowhwere. Perhaps her attitude has been held in check previously. The delay in her apology suggests that she truly doesn’t think her behavior was out of line. Her people have talked some sense into her.

Hopefully, the psychologists can explain that I am wrong, and this kind of profane, public debacle can be a one-time event that comes out of nowhere in a woman’s mind.

She had my friends and me talking about dopamine, adrenalin and the reptillian part of the brain yesterday. We were looking for “beyond her control” reasons to explain her behavior. If an American solider behaved that way, he or she could probably be court-martialed.

I think Serena Williams needs to spend some high quality time in northern Pakistan or some other part of the world where she sees, over a month or two, what problems truly are for women. Most of us who have lived or worked in such places indeed come out of the experience as better people. This is what Serena says she wants. She won’t find those spiritual insights here in America. I think she needs a far more radical awakening. Hook her up with Angelina Jolie for a month or two. That might be transformational enough.  Or send her off with Kristof with Nicholas Kirstof and Cheryl WuDunn, on their global women treks. Perhaps Serena can become a spokeswoman for gendercide — first hand knowledge of what an attitude that says “I’ll Kill You Really Means in Women’s Lives.”  Anne

This is Serena’s apology, printed in the LA Times:

“I want to amend my press statement of yesterday,” Williams wrote, “and want to make it clear as possible — I want to sincerely apologize FIRST to the lines woman, Kim Clijsters, the USTA and mostly tennis fans everywhere for my inappropriate outburst. I’m a woman of great pride, faith and integrity and I admit when I’m wrong.

“I need to make it clear to all young people that I handled myself inappropriately and it’s not the way to act — win or lose, good call or bad call in any sport, in any manner.

“I like to lead by example. We all learn from experiences both good and bad. I will learn and grow from this and be a better person as a result.”   

 More reading: Pakistani Women’s rights Heroine Mukhtar Mai’s on NBC Dateline