'The Offering' Dialogue on Feminism | Anne Enke & Taryn Andreatta

Based on a comment left just now on my “knee-jerk response” to Taryn Andreatta’s thoughts on feminism and the natural submission of women and — more importantly — my missing the “depth and genius of Taryn’s vision for a society that encourages full expression of natural gifts” etc., I have decided to publish the post-‘interview’ dialogue between Taryn and myself, which ended on a positive note between us.

The facts of our discussion are enlightening, as Taryn shares her commitment to many feminist values and I clarify my attempts to understand her position, hardly a “knee jerk” reaction as alleged by our AOC reader. In reality, I invested significant time, energy and thought into several days worth of dialogue, in an attempt to help Taryn clarify her words.

As confused as I was by what she meant with her statements about feminism, I have no doubt that many others were as well. I tried to clarify the inaccuracies of her statements about feminism this weekend, by referring readers to Stanford University’s overview of feminist philosophy. If my sincere essay is “classic knee jerk” feminism at its worst, I obviously failed in my attempts is talking about the complex questions embedded in Taryn’s belief in “natural female submission”.

Oct 10, 2011

TA: Hi Anne, sorry for the delay. The interview is complete and I’ll send it over tomorrow.
Xoxoxo

AE: Great T!! Your image article continues to get good reads. Now we can push it again.

TA: Thanks Anne… I apologize for the length of my interview.. i just sent it to your yahoo acct. I really couldn’t spare any thought or ideas because they’ve been burning inside of me for the past few months and just waiting to get out. xoxo

AE: I’m sure it will be great. Length is never a problem for me. I’ll read it this evening before bed. Do you have specific photos from editorials that you want to be part of it? Some images are important.

TA: Yes please.. I’d like the last shoot i did “the offering” to be included. It really is a analysis of that and more. Thank you. Xoxo

Oct 11, 2011

TA: Anne, thank you so much! Words can’t describe how thankful I am for your support, wisdom, and beautiful article! I’m everyday thrilled that we connected! I love the article. Two quick things. The 2nd question has a grammar error. 2. It should be their or our perspective right?

And… I understood all of it but this part “and courage to me, with more than one self-photography project retrieved” with Taryn as muse. Are you referring to my self-project? If so, can we change “self-project” because it was in such a large part the photographers as well, and I never call our works projects. Sorry to be so nit picky. Maybe something like with more than one artistic piece retrieved. I don’t know.. Everything else looked fantastic! Can’t wait to talk more. Lots of love! Xoxo

TA: Sorry I’m such an obsessive perfectionist Anne.

AE: No problem. I clarified the point. The women (3) resurrected or began self-photography projects of their own, saying they were inspired by your actions and honesty before the camera. For us, we call it our self-photography project. Perhaps ‘we’ are projects — works in process. Your images were the catalyst that inspired women to return to their own private relationship with the camera and nudity. Tomorrow I’ll add the links to your other work. (Just exhausted and so pressed today). And I’ll put this article and 2 earlier ones — definitely your film w/water — on the front page. Don’t apologize, T. The grammar error was an oversight. I wanted to attach feminism to me, using the word all the time and considering myself a feminist. And I forgot to take out the other ‘their’ word. Glad you caught it!! Lots of love back. Anne

Oct 12, 2011

TA: OH MY GOD ANNE THATS AMAZING!!! ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! I love to inspire others. Yes, we are all works in progress.. my i like my actual work to be complete.. but what is ever complete I suppose. I feel like we are making history Anne. Thank you thank you. You are a star. lots of love

Oct 13, 2011

AE: Hi Taryn. Your article is getting good reads & private comments to me. It’s interesting to understand how people are willing to share private opinions but not write them online, even anonymously. It’s weird. I’ve chatted w/several close women friends, who LOVE what you wrote.

I think the next post should also be essentially yours and not so much give & take between us. The focus should be what you mean, when you use the word ‘submission’. This is a real sticky-wicket word for many of us.

In reality, we have no problem w/the idea of submitting to the universe as a whole. But your words — for me, more so than a couple women who I trust — suggested an innate submissiveness in femaleness that is part of the universal order and natural relationship between men and women. Granted, we are all about the same age & consider ourselves to be second-wave feminists, but all of us have good relations with men, are heterosexual, date or are married, divorced etc. We’re not anti-male. (That’s an entire other subject — defining second-wave feminism, which is horribly maligned in my view. I do agree that your view of second-wave feminism is the prevailing one in popular culture. )

So I will put some questions together, but they will all focus on your concept of submission and how do YOU personally and women generally both submit and keep your own power. Or is power a bad thing generally-speaking? We can dialogue on this topic, before you begin to write. Even speak on the phone, if you wish. But that will be the next stop in the dialogue: clarifying the key terms that you have used in this interview; what they mean to you personally and then what you want women to learn/take away about themselves from the process of reading you.

People are very jazzed about this project idea & admire you very much, Taryn. So speak your mind, even if you think I may disagree with you in places. That’s the importance of dialogue, and there is no right or wrong interpretation on these complex topic.s xoxo Anne

TA: Hi Anne, That is interesting, I am glad that they are responding and that in general like my ideas. I am thankful. Most of my best friends are male and are responding really well to the interview also. I wanted it to be as much empowering for men as it is for women but in different ways.

You put it correctly when you said “innate submissiveness in femaleness that is part of the universal order and natural relationship between men and women.” That is 100% exactly what I mean when I speak about submission vs dominance, what is innate and present naturally since the beginning of mankind, why men are biologically stronger, bigger, more likely to hold a differing type of power in tribes and during rituals, protect the family, etc etc.. And what happens when men lose this sense of natural care taking and start to idolize the woman and try to be the woman in her role, what creates confusion and more distance between men vs women, not closeness—men may think that by taking on female virtues that gives them a stronger attachment but rather I believe that further perpetuates this detachment from ourselves.

There is a distinct separation between men vs women and there should always be this distinct separation in a sense, what allows us to explore our genders, there is something beautiful in that. I can further explain later. None of this means that women should not be completely and totally worshipped in my opinion because we are the key to life, and I will always advocate strongly for women, women’s rights, the divine feminine, our voices to be heard, from my feminist perspective.

Putting aside power in a working sense or living sense, because who maintains power is where things start to go awry, the focus should be love, making love, private intimacy etc. all things I can expand upon when talking about dominance vs submission. People take power in any sense and run with it, sometimes abuse it. I want this discussion to be open, free of my own personal judgement, and to really focus on creating balance with an emphasis on the woman as a whole and who she is, her part in preserving femininity and humanity—that’s our biggest role. So, I may be repeating some things when you ask questions but I am really looking forward to the follow up and I’ll be prepared to openly answer anything you may ask. Thank you so much Anne. xoxoxox

Oct. 14, 2011

TA: Hi Taryn. You’ve given me a lot to think about here. Actually, I was reading you more clearly than my colleagues, who were fitting your words through their own lens. Two of the women are very goddess-oriented and understand the context of your words. I’m off to New York tomorrow to spend the day — got my press credentials — with Eve Ensler, Gloria Steinem, Anita Hill — an amazing list of women that I will get to mingle with behind the scenes. So it will be during the week before I pick this up again, because I want to dig deeply and with intellectual rigor on this critical topic. There are several classics that I own & I want to revisit them, too. Have a great weekend. xoxo Anne

AE: Taryn — a question. Do you believe that women have roles as leaders? Do they own businesses? Or is this the province of men? Do men make the laws that govern women’s reproduction? Are only men the priests and bishops? When reviewing the history of humankind, I’m struggling with your idea that women have really held the power — as you say — and we just don’t know it. How do you reconcile the extraordinary atrocities perpetuated against women worldwide? These are not exceptions but the glue of women’s lives in many nations.

How does your idealized vision of gender relations operate in real life? And specifically in women’s real lives? I think it’s illogical for me to assume that you believe that women have any role as leaders vs being in our ‘natural’ role as submissive followers, letting men take their natural roles as the official leaders, while we wield power behind the throne, so to speak. Do women have the right to vote? Do they get graduate degrees? Are we educated at all?

I think it’s important for me not to assume anything in our dialogue and understand better your viewpoint about how the natural order plays out in real life examples, rather than words. Historically women haven’t been educated, except for the courtesan and some members of royal/rich households. Is this preferable for women in your view?

If a woman is educated, then does she use her degree? How is she of service to her community and country/world? Is motherhood her biological destiny as a woman? Has she not lived up to her potential if she is childless? These are all classic questions that launched the second wave feminists, and I know you object to much/most of second wave feminism.

So I don’t want to assume anything here. That’s all the questions represent — an effort to understand your point of view.

Oct 15, 2011

TA: I don’t object to feminism in first or 2nd wave feminism.

TA: I think we are completely misunderstanding each other. I’m going to have to reiterate and re-explain. I’m not referring to anything on a social level, I’m referring to “subtle” biological traits as I said. All the feminism is a social movement, I’m not addressing that. I was more addressing my concern with men not meeting our needs at this stage… Anyway, to be continued…

TA: I am a leader. I am progressive. My mother is a feminist. We did everything just the two of us, without a man. So this topic touches home because never did I experience male influence or infrastructure in my life until these recent years. So, I think we need to back track to my original statements and go from there.

AE: Hi Taryn. Don’t be thrown by my questions. When one is writing for the public, they don’t have your context or inner understanding of what you mean.

Feminism isn’t just a social movement. For me — the person who has lived it and embraced the word wholeheartedly — it has been a point of view, a way of trying to understand women’s world, a philosophy about women’s lives. I believe most of the women I will be with today — Gloria Steinem, Eva Ensler, Anita Hill would agree that feminism is a philosophy about relations between men and women — not just an argument about the ERA.

How do we explain that Socrates believed that women (a la Cleopatra) could lead Egypt brilliantly and 300 years later by Aristotle, women were regarded as animals in need total shepherding by men? I don’t believe this was an evolutionary, biological act.

Why should men be trusted to do anything that is in women’s TRUE self-interest? The current desire of male legislators to allow women having a miscarriage to die on the floors of emergency rooms in America is an example.

Many women would ask you: ‘how do you want me to submit to the man who also says I can die?’ Is this not a form of suicide?

I agree that many men have these ‘real men’ traits of whatever you want to call them and can be trusted as an ally to women (who are not blameless and can become the aggressors themselves). But you seem to regard these more humane traits as ‘feminine’ ones and undesirable ones (in men). In nature, males aren’t the protectors. Just as often (more I believe) they leave the flock, herd, etc and have nothing to do with raising babies & animal families.

Personally, where we probably disagree is that I tend to reject wholesale male is y; females are x arguments — rooted in biology or the natural order of things. I don’t dismiss biology for one moment, although anthropologists have rewritten much of nature to suit the male view. Much new research rejects assertions about (innate, natural) behavior.

This is all very complex, Taryn. I think the first step — as I wrote — is to not assume each other’s points of view. I would never write that women are naturally submissive to men, although I totally embrace the idea of surrender with the right partner. So if you are going to speak of the natural submission of women, then making it clear what you mean by using that term is critical. xoxo Off to New York. Anne

TA: Anne, , You have to understand which generation I am growing up in, with what background. I never had to struggle against any sexism or specific prejudice for being a female. I had all the rights, and opportunities with little to no male influence. Not once did I feel the disadvantage of being a woman. So, I am speaking from a standpoint of always feeling empowered and blessed to be female, knowing we can conquer…none of this means that I am unable to comprehend and fight against atrocities played out against women, and horrible acts of violence, sex slavery, abandonment, killing, persecution, and other doings that continue to persist and plague women in the world, and I’d love to have a hand and voice in ending these horrific problems… especially when it comes to pushing forward with things like pro choice. Maybe I am not so well equipped to confront everything you are presenting in these arguments about dominance and submission…And how to really say that submission and dominance should be played out in an intimate way and nothing more—-like as you say “surrender to the right partner” …

Typically I equate Submission with nurturing tendencies, and Dominance with more aggressive protective tendencies. Both of which can be argued to no end. I need time to think about how I would define this better but mostly I was referring to sexually intimate relationships. . I am speaking from a space of love and care. Your questions are more rhetorical for me but I will answer them. and that interview and piece was supposed to be empowering for women, not a way for them to seek conformist stereotypical social roles that make them subservient to men. Absolutely in now way was that what I was saying; if anything it was seeking to challenge that.

a. yes, women should be leaders.
b.yes, they should own businesses..
c. no men dont govern women’s reproduction
d. yes of course women should be priestesses, warriors, goddesses, bishops and there are many notable ones .
e. women have held the power in the past, through family and household but you’re right, it rarely goes beyond that. we’ve seen burnings at the stakes, beheadings, etc that make it so painstakingly clear that they had and no rights and no freedoms.
f. I never once said women should be submissive followers—-that disgusts me and it’s so far removed from anything i strive to be and represent.
g. I never once said men are natural leaders. I said biologically their bodies are stronger, their hormones are testosterone elevated and they are aggressive by nature—-which puts them into a perfect position to protect or flee I suppose depending ..
h.Voting, education, degrees, work—-all of which women need and deserve.. do i really need to say this? i think its obvious.
i. of course a woman does not need to be a child bearer, even if that is her natural evolutionary job from a genetic standpoint.. As with men, who have the propensity to reproduce with as many women as possible… any of my ideas can be taken to the utter opposite extreme but really I just look for balance…

I’m off to sleep. Have a wonderful time in NY. I’ll think about how to better define Dominance vs submission xoxo Taryn

AE: Taryn, in transit. In the taxi, I also thought about the reality you must deal with in the age of the Internet. 30-40% of AOC readers are not American. So not only do I have the challenge of understanding a much younger woman who believes she’s never experienced discrimination, but you must understand that your ‘arguments’ and definitions about the natural order of things must have international applications to women and men in Brazil, India and Russia or China — the BRIC economies, which are the next big countries. (I deliberately avoided places like Saudi Arabia or Iran.) Otherwise, you’re just talking about your vision of American women or ‘liberated’ women or ‘evolved’ women and men. Because this issue is so important, I have asked several international women to read your piece. In this case, I want to separate the female and male perspectives, but we will definitely take up the male pov also. I contacted one young woman your age and will work on expanding your generation’s perspective. You and I will be the dialoguers, but I will share with you via email, the thoughts of others as they come to me

TA: Great, thank you Anne.

It’s not that I haven’t experienced discrimination. It’s that I haven’t experienced it for simply being a woman. That’s a better word choice. **

I’ve had adversities to overcome… But I’m also the eternal optimist. Looking forward to reading the emails Anne.

AE: ‘Submission’ and gender-based definitions are very complex. About 12 years ago I was practically run out of an Intel Conference by PhD women from Berkeley who said I was a traitor to the sisterhood, because I referenced the differences between male & female brains. Today we know this is true — female brains are much more complex on every measure. At any rate, even me for to be clear on how the elements of your philosophy fit together is important. So we can talk mid-week but also I encourage you to write your core thoughts on this topic first in an email to help me understand how the ‘natural’ female submission actually plays out in a relationship in a positive way. When I get back to Philly, I’ll forward you some of the thoughts I’ve received today. No one is attacking you, just so you know. They find you perhaps naive in some cases, but all are thrilled with your piece, our dialogue, and want to understand more fully your thoughts. And they all support our desire to be very responsible in discussing this very important question about the natural submission of women. xoxo

TA: Hi Anne, These are very heavy issues for me to discuss. Its stressing me out, its exhausting me, its making me really sad. I don’t have any sort of degree from anywhere. I didn’t graduate college, even though I’ve taken many classes. I just speak about what I observe. So maybe I am completely and totally naive. And In general I seek balance and I view men vs women as a metaphorical pendulum, that can’t be swung in one direction or the other too far. I really don’t want to have to explain to everyone how they can subtly embrace natural dominant or submissive traits in their personal intimate relationships; could have to do with sex roles in the bed, a man simply opening a door for a woman, a woman being more nurturing and softer to him with her voice or touch, bringing out feminine sexual energy, a man demonstrating his strength through the way he tightly embraces a woman, i mean i could go on and on but All of these things should be left up to creative interpretation for each couple. I have more traditional relationship views, and I want to feel like a woman in that intimate sense in the bedroom, or in dating. Not to say I don’t want to bring home the money or be a leader etc.. i just want to feel like a sensual sexual feminine being and for a man to feel the same in his body but a masculine being and then represent that and be in touch with that. Obviously I am totally contradicting feminist perspectives because my in between philosophy isn’t befitting of what they represent, I guess. I do expect people to not hold ethnocentric ideas when reading what i wrote and to be open minded, as I respect others cultural ideas, because i think its interesting to be reading women’s ideas in other cultures, just as I am expressing a liberated American view, doesn’t mean it applies to woman in other countries in the sense that you may think, but it hopefully will be of interest for them to read, and again bring forth the ideas of feeling liberated and where to go from that liberation and how to have strong personal relationships with their lovers.

AE: Hi Taryn. I actually don’t personally know a feminist who wants to emasculate men in bed. This is not to say there aren’t any — just as there are zealots in every movement from communism to Christianity. Unlike these folks, the ardent feminists (the cut off his balls kind) at least didn’t kill anybody that I know of. But yes, in the minds of many people, we are as bad as Stalin. I never thought of myself that way.

New social research confirms that women who declare themselves to be feminists have better sex lives and longer marriages. Their husbands/partners say they are happy to be living with a woman who considers herself a feminist. So I don’t know exactly how feminism got such a bad name with young women like you.

When you have time, I would love to know what you consider feminist principles to be — since an ardent one has backed you from day one. And because I know who is backing you — and has also shared her thoughts on your essay with me (Lxxx xxxxx, for one) she is a feminist, too. So the feminists are backing you — Cxxxxxx xxxxx is another. Do you find that at all ironic? LOL — because I do. That your strongest supporters are feminists while you express such negative views about us??? Do you believe that feminists hate sex?

Sorry you’re stressing Taryn, but when you put words out there — to expect no questions or attempt to understand what you meant — on some pretty strong statements about human relations is the kind of culture I don’t want to live in. The lack of critical dialogue in America is stunning enough as it is, without my feeding it.

Leaders stand up for their views, not jump ship the first time the boat rocks. If I were you, I would want to read people’s impressions of my article, as a way of getting into women’s minds and perhaps helping me to evolve my own impressions and understanding of other people.

I will also say that a true feminist probably wouldn’t use the ‘stressed out’ argument so quickly. That’s a classic. Men turn the tables on women who go quickly for the ‘I’m too stressed out to deal with this topic’ way of dealing with issues that THEY initiated.

So be careful with using that avoidance mechanism in your career. It’s at the top of the list top-level business men have in why they don’t believe women can hack it when the chips are down. It may garner male sympathy or an arm around your shoulder, but not respect in your abilities.

I do not want to put you through any stress, Taryn, and have no problem leaving your interview alone with no more dialogue. I will pick up the topic, weaving it into a larger context of feminism and my day in New York yesterday with those dirty, rotten feminists. (I’m laughing just so you know.) Lord, tell me you don’t support Clarence Thomas over Anita Hill. Then again, that was 20 years ago, so it probably doesn’t count. And I certainly won’t criticize you or discredit you in any way, just so you rest easy over that possibility. I totally support your art and goals to advance yourself and believe you are a special, very talented young woman. Love, Anne

Also, we really disagree that America is liberated. I find it almost as sexually repressive as the Middle East in terms of where the right wing fundamentalists wants to take it — and that’s not the fault of feminists like me. My commitment is to liberate and advance sensuality — a vision I believe we share. As an FYI — and maybe this is where I will start my own writing on your piece — there was considerable discussion on this very topic — of feminism and positive sexuality — yesterday. It arose in the discussion around SlutWalks, and it was the first time I remember feminists acknowledging that we must be careful not to condemn sexuality because America has a huge problem with positive sexuality already.

TA: Oh my dearest Anne. (sigh) yes I agree America is very sexually conservative and repressed. I’d be happy to continue our dialogue so long as you please refrain from making assumptions too quickly about my persona/philosophy relating to these topics. For instance, I don’t express negative views about feminism, are you kidding me? If I did, I would have to hate the very woman who raised me. I understand that you’re trying to rough me up a bit and get into my psyche and as much as I appreciate classic debate, we’re on the same team here.

TA: I still wait for your follow-up questions and emails from other women. thanks.xoxo

AE:OK. So when you write this today, how am I supposed to understand that you don’t have a problem with feminism? “Obviously I am totally contradicting feminist perspectives because my in between philosophy isn’t befitting of what they represent, I guess. “ (Taryn), just help me understand please.

AE: Are you not making assumptions about feminists here?

(Taryn’s words): ” Feminists operate on a level that condemns the objectification of the female body. “The Offering” is an attempt to address that issue and prove that women have intellect, sentiment, depth, fragility, and femininity beyond this contemporary notion of women being perceived as objects or robots for display. “

I’m not projecting onto you too quickly. I asked you to clarify what you meant in order not to categorize you. You said you would explain. Today you are too stressed to explain. I’m not trying to rough you up a bit, Taryn. I’m asking you to explain your words. There is a big difference.

Do not be the victim when you are the protagonist. Another classic womanly move. That’s 2 today, too stressed and making me the aggressor, and I’m frankly surprised at your way of handling yourself. It may work with guys, but I expect you to me more straightforward with me.

I do not rough people up. I am trying to understand your words. Let me sit on this entire idea myself because the ground is feeling pretty devious beneath my feet. My radar just went up big-time. Anne

TA: Anne, that is not an assumption. I don’t know any feminists that seek to objectify the female form or support those companies/views that exploit women as objects. I stated a fact not an assumption. If you disagree, please let me know. (Note from Anne: what an assinine statement, given who she is talking to — the self-proclaimed feminist who has published all her nude photos in any effort to promote women feeling positive about our bodies.)

I do have a lot of stress apart from this, trying to deal with medical problems (why else would I be so slowly working and hardly doing any shoots?) and so when I feel aggravated by these messages proclaiming that I am anti-feminist, its something I back away from for now. I am in a weakened state of physical activity from a head injury I suffered in an accident that causes extreme vertigo and even worse its affected when typing and reading small text on a computer screen, it took me weeks to get that interview out to you, and even longer for me to complete that shoot. so, its something that when i say and request that I need time, it means I need time. I don’t like to have to talk about really personal problems but for some reason I feel like I need to tell you so you can be patient with me. Thats all I ask please.

TA: And Anne, If you truly feel like I am being devious, then you really have no understanding of who I am. Thats the first time I’ve ever heard that statement in my life and its disappointing, I have to focus on positive change and continuing my work in a way that’s healthy. This is not evolving into a healthy conversation, for some reason. Again, it saddens me that there has been a total misunderstanding and if we were to continue I’d appreciate greatly that we work together and not apart. All of these things should be a collaborative effort, not an attack on each other’s feminine strengths and weaknesses in this instance. Thank you.

AE: When you accuse me of wanting to ‘rough you up’, that’s not a healthy conversation for either of us. I think you should reflect on your words and perhaps reflect more on how you speak to people, before you push the ‘on’ button.

Anyone who would accuse me of wanting to rough them up is someone I can’t trust. It’s as simple as that, Taryn. I don’t appreciate your metaphor at all. I have been totally supportive of you all the way and for you to use those words with me is totally unsettling — in a really bad way.

I am simply trying to understand your words that you have written by asking you questions. That is very problematic for you, for some reason.

In a nutshell, I do not put myself at risk with people who throw language around like that. Ask any of your photographer friends if they might be nervous if you accused them of trying to rough you up in a photo shoot with their directions. They will say ‘yes’.

The risk isn’t worth the reward. The world is full of very talented people seeking mentors, and I do not meet good criteria for you. It appalls me that you would speak to me that way. It also occurred to me the other day, that you may have a very strong streak of narcissism. In a sense, you need to have it to do what you do. It may also be your Achilles heel.

I think should should prioritize your health and not worry about mundane issues like our dialogue. It’s not that important without us being in sympatico, and I just don’t feel comfortable proceeding. No public problem between us. I will continue to post your editorials. But the trust was just wiped out with your words.

At my age, I’ve learned to listen to my instincts. I only want the best for you Taryn. Take good care, Taryn. Best, Anne

TA: “Obviously I am totally contradicting feminist perspectives because my in between philosophy isn’t befitting of what they represent, I guess.” And by this—-i meant my middle of the road take on balancing out mens and women’s perspectives in a way that integrates both submission and dominance is typically not a feminist attitude, no? am i wrong? ?? it’s my attitude but i don’t view it to be typical of feminist..

AE: You don’t know anything about feminism, Taryn, so I wish you would stop talking about it.

TA: Hi Anne, I admire you greatly and I really don’t want things to end, let alone end on such a bad note. I have such great respect for you and its really important for me to continue our friendship. I’m extremely thankful for your support over the past year and your willingness to let me speak and get my voice heard. I’m so sorry I was loose with my words and said something so offensive to you that I didn’t mean. Your views, ideas, knowledge, impact is all well received by me and I’d really love to give you a ring and tell you how much I care about what you’re doing and tell you how thankful I am. You’ve opened my mind and given me a lot of room to think. Even if you were to never publish anything from me again, I would still very much like to have your presence close and be able to show you my appreciation for what you’re doing on a global level. Please send over your number so I can at least express that gratitude for you, even if its just left by message on a machine.

Thank you

TA: and again I apologize for my naivety. I really do feel like your direction and guidance is essential as well Anne. You’re a fearless leader in representing women and their evolution. I hope we can come back together and join forces. All my love

TA: I should’ve just told you that I didn’t feel comfortable explaining in further detail to the public and just left it at that rather than take up fierce opposition, and I’m sorry for not saying so sooner., still waiting to say thank you via phone. Xoxo

Oct 16, 2011

AE: It’s not a bad note, Taryn. You’ve left me depressed & disappointed. I don’t have time to talk, because the big issues are so important and one individual can’t sap our time and spirit. My focus is the war to return women to the ‘traditional’ values by letting us die in emergency rooms in America, rather than give us the medical care we deserve.

The best gift you can give me is to inform yourself about second wave feminism and the views of the vast majority of women who marched and lobbied. As I just wrote on my wall, I can fight the social conservatives, but I can’t fight you, too. I’m tired of MY history being written by uninformed young women who think they know what they’re talking about. I repeat that I only want what’s best for you & will be happy to post your fantastic editorials.

As for our personal spirit, I don’t trust the ground beneath my feet. I appreciate your words & trust that you will say or do nothing to disparage me in the future. Only the best, Anne

TA: Anne, I’m so sorry. I spoke with my mother earlier and told her I had let down and acted like a monster to one of my strongest female supporters. I feel ashamed. Then, I read our emails aloud to one of my friends because I was rather upset and during that I realized that I had misread so much of you wrote and then in turn confused us both with my responses. What a terrible mistake. Apparently, I can’t read English properly because I was reading everything too quickly. I don’t know what would give me the idea, that you would be critical of me, because you are the last person to do so. I must be in defense mode, shamefully admitting it. Again, I’m sorry. My beliefs align strongly with yours and I will always support you as well. I wish I could something to help and redeem myself. I know you have larger battles to conquer. Please let me know if I can help in any way.

TA: Yes, I will do my homework and educate myself on 2nd wave feminism. Thank you for your message. I’ll be in touch and it will only be in the most positively beneficial way.  Love, Taryn