Nous Adorons: Carolyn Quatermaine

Good morning, Anne of Carversville friends,

It is I. .  Ms. Majesty … reporting for duty.

Life’s a bit crazy up here on the 19th floor of Anne’s Place. I was hanging out in the vestibule, remembering my last encounter with Tribute in Light … how I begged him to stay with us, fighting valiantly to keep him in our loving embrace.  Mine was such a sweet reverie, and then …

Without warning, I heard Anne exclaiming “Oh my God …” as if she had discovered the fountain of youth or something. Trust me, we can’t keep up with her as it is, and I recommend that we keep all fountains away from her! She might dance in it.

“Come here right now, Ms. Majesty?” Anne shouted. “Now . . right now! This is incredible!”

“Anne, darling,” I called into the bedroom. “We have a problem here, and it’s called a curtain rod. I’m a little tied up at the moment. Perhaps you can come to me.”

Hormones In Homeostasis

These events have nothing to do with Anne’s hormones. She’s perfectly balanced … a good mix of estrogen and testosterone. I bring up this topic, because … well you know the comments about women, when they behave unusually.

Off-kilter hormones are often confused with creative thinking.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.”  Anne rushed out of her bedroom, carrying this book:

“Ms. Majesty … I never understood until now … why I brought you into my life.”

“Because you love me, Anne. You need me … that’s why you brought me into your life.”

“I know, I know,” Anne replied. “But there’s more to it.”

Rigor and Decorum

Sigh. There are times when the complexities of Anne’s mind become … a bit overwhelming.  I’m a Queen, not subject to these creative outbursts that she produces pretty regularly.

I do my duty, like when she asked me to capture Tribute. The request made sense to me. Besides, Tribute makes my own heart flutter. I’m not the Tin Man, you know.

I am human.

“Look at this book! What do you see?” Anne demanded, thrusting the pink and turquoise design book into my folds.

“Anne, I see Carolyn Quatermaine’s book “Revealed”.

“Exactly, but what else do you see? Don’t you understand that this is my all-time favorite decorating book ever! I love no decorating book more in life.”

Carolyn Quartermain’s Revealed via a fabulous, new blog

“No, Anne, this knowledge escapes me. I see why you like the book, though. It’s gorgeous. Of course, you like the title “Revealed”, being the infintely discreet woman that you are. “

“Quartermain’s love of organza and silk appeal to you, Anne. Indeed, she’s a very passionate woman, mixing intense colors with precious objects, both grand and mundane. That’s you.  Contemporary twists on classics … I get it, my dear.”

Reason For Being

My beloved friend stood there, dazed in her Eureka moment.  Looking at me wistfully, she murmurred: “You are here for a reason.”

“Besides electrifying our guests young and old, male and female, with my sexy, pink grandeur … what other purpose might I have, Anne. Isn’t inspiring the art of living sensually enough for one Queen?”

“Yes, Ms. Majesty, you DO have another purpose! Our future path is clear to me now. I will make you a famous writer.”

“Anne, I am a beautiful curtain, a drape to inspire our imaginations. I am NOT a writer.”

“Of course you are. Just listen to me, Ms. Majesty. This is my conundrum … I’ve been reading blogs for the last three hours, trying to understand how others tread the fine line between being authentic and commercial.”

Standards Of Excellence

“Our AnneofCarversville website is just zooming in popularity, Ms Majesty, with no big breaks, except for Feanne. I don’t want to screw up here, with our readers.”

“It’s not like we’re one of Martha’s favorite blogs, or we exist in the inner circle of the New York Times. We haven’t been discovered yet.  We’ve fought hard for every one of our readers, and they mean everything in the world to me. We owe them the same standard of excellence in the future.”

BUT, we must also pay the bills, Ms. Majesty. The rent bill comes once a month. If we’re to write more, we must get paid. Or I must find us a sugar daddy. Plus the affiliates want to see a product blog. It’s just that simple.

Anne’s concerns make sense to me. And so … . . I have agreed. In fact, I’m thrilled to become a writer at Anne of Carversville. We haven’t worked out all the details … just that my voice will be commercial; my design style grounded in the sensuality of Carolyn Quatermaine.

After all … I AM an imposing silk drape, an electrifying bolt of creative desire to visitors here in Manhattan. Now, Anne offers me a more global voice and perspective.  Strangely, I feel a bit of a quiver myself, finding myself on the verge of a new adventure here.

If my friend the QE2 is on her way to Dubai soon, well … I, too, am off into a new life … writing about style.

The Crafty Cameleon Yes: The Perfect Answer

Anne is smiling with her solution to a need for style writing at Anne of Carversville, and her valid concern that she shouldn’t be the one to do it. Of course, she will share her whimsies on Private Eye, as she rockets through cyberspace.

Anne’s life is about products, ideas, music … all things creative.

I will be the revenue-generator … Ms. Majesty, the go-to girl for product encorsements that we believe in. I should forewarn you that I’m hard to please. It’s a deal then, Anne, except … oh dear, I just had a thought of my own …

“Anne … oh, Anne. I don’t have to write about … lotions and potions and vibrators, do I?”

“I agree to this assignment, if my focus is beautiful interiors, fine travel, fabulous flowers, and perhaps a great restaurant or two. “

“No sex toys, Anne …. Anne … do you hear me? I said ‘no platinum vibrators.’”

Goodbye then … for now … and my love to all.
Ms. Majesty

“Anne, where are you … I said no Kama Sutra products, either. I have a regal reputation to protect, Anne.