Handmaiden Topiary Trees Are Preparing A Holiday WH Invasion In Hopes Of A National Do-Over

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Melania Trump wants the nation to celebrate a holiday invasion of morbid, blood-sucking topiary trees devoid of magic or inspiration. What she doesn't understand is each topiary houses a Handmaid's Tale activist seeking REVENGE on her husband.

Remember the Trojan War from Greek History when ODYSSEUS and his men entered Troy in the wooden horse? Well, when all those blood-sucking trees start moving towards The Donald while he chows down on cheese burgers in bed, even FOX News won't be able to help him. Trump is terrified of germs (TRUTH not satire) so imagine his heartfelt response when he looks up and sees that he is under attack by an invasion of blood-thirsty topiary trees, each carrying a living, breathing, ranting Handmaiden seeking justice. Sweet! ~ Anne

For the real story on yet another Melania Trump style flop, read about America’s joyous holiday decorations at Vanity Fair.