Happy Houseworkers Have Lots More Luvin'

Choreplay as foreplay. Most women say “right on” to visions of husbands doing housework. So many women — especially new moms — responded to the connection between men doing housework and their desire for sex — that the Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative went into the book and calendar business, with the objective of redefining porn in woman-friendly terminology.

Specifically, a man looks a lot more ‘ripped’ holding a mop, and his pursuit of dust bunnies under the bed ignites a woman’s libido to peak pitch. 

The latest look at sex and housework with married couples changes the dynamic of the discussion. Like its predecessors, this look at 6,877 married couples confirms again that women do more housework and men work longer hours. Childcare isn’t analyzed.

The big news here isn’t in the numbers. For the record wives in the study spent an average 41.8 hours a week on housework, compared with 23.4 hours for husbands—a split that is fairly typical, and often regarded by wives as unfair.

Husbands spent an average 33.8 hours a week on paid work, compared with 19.7 hours for wives. That added up to a 61-hour workweek for women, compared to 57 hours for men.

Our position at Anne of Carversville is that men and women are moving into a state of parity, when hours worked, childcare, and housework are combined. The above stats report a four-hour differential between women and men on hoursework and paid work.

Now for the drumrole. Indeed, more housework equals more sex for BOTH genders. But rather than suggesting that the wife is “giving the housework husband his sex biscuit”, the study suggests that busy, higher-energy people have more sex.

Couples is the survey had sex 82.7 times a year on average, the researchers found, which translates to roughly 1.6 times a week. An above-average couple where the wife does 68 hours of housework a week and the husband 45 hours would have sex 15 more times a year — or 1.3 times more each month — than a below-average couple where the wife does 16 hours of housework a week and the husband two hours.

The busier the people, the more sex. This fact stands a lot of anecdotal reporting by women on its head.

“What we think is happening here is that there’s a group of go-getter, high-energy couples who work hard and they play hard, and they prioritize their time to find time for the things they like to do,” says Constance Gager, a sociologist in the department of family and child studies at Montclair State University in New Jersey. via GlobalTV.com

Busy people may be more focused or just plain have more stamina. Perhaps life is more of a checklist, and sexual intimacy is part of the couple’s definition of a healthy lifestyle and relationship. It’s suggested that couples doing more housework and outside yard chores are more committed to home and hearth, even if they’re raking leaves at 8pm, after getting off the commuter train from a 10-hour work day.

The study doesn’t eliminate our earlier understanding that women are more inclined to have sex, when their husband is helping with housework. We all agree this is generally true.

What the results underscore is that busier people are not too tired for sex. And working women don’t have less sex. High-energy people may have greater joie de vivre, whether they’re busy at work or at home.

Do these couples exercise? Are they extra healthy? The study employed many control factors, but we’re not yet clear about the characteristics that time the most sex folks together.

“Rather than compromise their sex life” because of time demands at work or at home, “this group of go-getters seems to make sex a priority,” says lead researcher Gager. The study doesn’t measure what proportion of spouses fall into this group, but she believes “they are on the leading edge of couples we expect to see more of in the future.” via WSJ

Engaging in housework isn’t a drain on a couple’s sex life but instead reflects perhaps a love of and commitment to each other and making whoopie on multiple fronts from chocolate souffles in the kitchen to pleasurable moans in bed.

This survey reflects findings in a significant research population of almosy 7,000 couples. And it asks as many questions as it answers. Should we assume that busy women are the most stressed-out women, and therefore, women having less sex? Perhaps the busiest women are also the happiest women, who are also having the most sex.

Perhaps it’s the lower-energy folks who always feel that they’re behind the gun or unable to keep up who have the most stress and also less sex. I don’t mean to build the personal responsibility component into the research findings, but you must admit, the results are pretty darn interesting. Anne

Read also: Pine-Sol Reminds Us: Choreplay Is Foreplay Smart Sensuality