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Women As Muses: What Is Our Place in the Modern World? Or Are We Just ‘Slut Girls’ Today?



Anne of Carversville & Sensuality News do not accept submissions.

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Women As Muses: What Is Our Place in the Modern World? Or Are We Just 'Slut Girls' Today?

Pablo Picasso’s muse Marie-Thérèse Walter served as the inspiration for his 1932 painting “La Rêve.”I suspect that muses don’t have a lot of appeal to contemporary feminists, who argue that being an empowered ‘slut’ is far more important than being a muse.

Even I must admit that muses are sort of a mixed bag, existing to inspire others, rather than themselves.

In history and also in mythology, muses germinated the male brain to great heights of achievement and accomplishment.

In today’s world, women want more than to inspire; we see ourselves as doers. And yet, it seems to me that there’s value in arousing others to reach for the high bar in creative self-development and personal achievement.

A modern muse, in the form of a Smart Sensuality woman, can inspire, while advancing her own self.

Over at SensualityNews, I wrote that the current Metropolitan of Art show “The Model As Muse” was a lackluster performance for me, in making the connection between fashion models and their impact on either creators or the general public.

I went to the exhibit, hoping to see the equivalent of Greek sirens, given the sexualization of modern fashion media. All I saw was a sea of very, very pretty faces.

Where was her power? I sought clarity about the impact of these muses on culture and civilization. Centuries later, will these muses live on through art, drama, buildings and other testaments to human creativity?

Probably not.

Modern muses like fashion models exist, so that we can all imitate her. The Wall Street Journal reminds us that this reality would make the original muses “run for the sacred hills”.

The original muse could not have been further from an exemplar of style. Her function was not to inspire imitation, but to create new insights and new artistic forms. She was effectively invisible, a gust of divine wind that blew through the human vessel lucky enough to be graced by her attention.

‘The Nymphaeum’ by William Adolphe Bouguereau’

Perhaps it’s time to go back to square one on the role of muses in our lives. Beyond the excellent WSJ article Where Have All the Muses Gone? I propose a stop at Paleothea: the Ancient Goddess.

Committed to unearthing the true tales of ancient goddesses, many of whom served as muses for (wo)man’s greatest achievements, the author reminds us that Artemis was truly fierce, in a way Tyra Banks will NEVER understand. Nor did Hera just shrivel up in a body of nationally-televised tears on Oprah, when Zeus cheated on her.

The muses and ancient goddesses understood and employed revenge and denial. They were strong, activist, potent women, although the author of Paleothea cautions us that the symbolism of the goddesses is perhaps more powerful to us than the ancients.

Women’s lives were already eclipsed in 5th century BC Greece.

Females have spent endless centuries trying to get off the limitations of muses pedestals and onto an even playing field with men. We also refute the idea of being objectified, a fundamental aspect of being a muse. Surely there are certain psychological benefits to being physically and emotionally needed and desired.

‘Hylas and the Nymphs’ by John William Waterhouse

Returning again to the Smart Sensuality woman, she is comfortable with her role as a source of inspiration. In fact, being a role model inspires her to further achievements. She rejects pedestals because she’s far more comfortable being in the thick of the action.

The Smart Sensuality woman wants to be real — as Michelle Obama is vividly a woman most of us can relate to. But she does not feel compelled to become one of the guys, to reject her femininity and sexuality in the pursuit of self-development and personal authenticity.

Enjoying a bit of musedom is just fine for a Smart Sensuality woman. How else will she elevate, rather than desecrate civilization?

These are lofty words I know, but if modern life is all about imitation, then I argue that our role models should not be ‘slut girls’. This opinion puts me at odds with major segments of young women’s feminism.

I understand and supported the incubation of the Riot Grrrl movement and third wave feminism. But I also believe in the psychological power of words.

Riot Grrls

The badge of honor that third wave feminism women adopt in calling themselves ‘sluts’ is likened to African Americans defusing the power of the N-word by using it on themselves.

Words have meaning in the popular culture. Our brains and psychological wiring are not so sophisticated as to be able to use a demeaning word as a badge and convert it into a positive source of personal inspiration.

Bottom line, I know and understand fully the power of words. “Do not ever call me a slut,” I say to men.

If third wave feminism has converted ‘slut girls’ into a form of empowerment, then we should see revealed the term so revealed in the popular culture.

Sensuality vs Slut

I won’t turn to Webster’s Dictionary, as I did the day last year when I was stunned to read the dictionary’s definition of ‘sensuality’:

1. pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly.

2. lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste.

3. arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.

4. worldly; materialistic; irreligious.

5. of or pertaining to the senses or physical sensation; sensory.

6. pertaining to the philosophical doctrine of sensationalism.

English-speaking society is so ambivalent about the meaning of sensual that I have a wide-open opportunity to work hard to reinvent the meaning of the word sensuality. Getting an easy-to-understand url is next to impossible these days, and yet I had no trouble registering last week.

I will own the term ‘Smart Sensuality’, as Faith Popcorn owned ‘cocooning’. I argue that the emerging Smart Sensuality woman will be as big a factor in the consumer marketplace, as ‘cocooners’ ever were.

Given our national ambivalence over sensuality — a gorgeous, empowering, inspiring word that defines me, even if it’s loaded up with far more baggage than I ever imagined — how do third-wave feminism women believe that ‘slut’ is an empowering word?

Urban Dictionary: Slut

If they’re right, will confirm the revised definition of the word ‘slut’. For starters, there are 32 pages of definitions for the word ‘slut’. That’s a blow out!

The far and away winner of the definition of slut, based on 33, 763 votes is:

1. Slut: a woman with the morals of a man.

Got it, although I’m not sure what the ‘morals of a man’ means.

2. Slut with 12,564 votes

Someone who provides a very needed service for the community and sleeps with everyone, even the guy that has no shot at getting laid and everyone knows it. She will give him a sympathy fuck either because someone asked her to or she just has to fuck everyone she knows. These are great people, and without them sex crimes would definitly increase. Thank you slut, where ever you are. “Dude, did you get laid after the party.” No, I fucked Megan, the slut.”

3. Slut with 5865 votes

A derogatory term.

Refers to a sexually promiscuous person, usually female.

One who engages in sexual activity with a large number of persons, occasionally simultaneously.

Also refers to one who engages in sexual activity outside of a long-term relationship within the duration of said relationship.

These sexual activities include but are not limited to: passionate kissing, manual stimulation of genitalia and/or breasts in the case of a female; oral stimulation of these parts; sexual intercourse.

In some cases, used to refer to a woman who is wearing “skimpy” or tasteless clothing.

Less commonly, used as a derogatory term by one female for another during periods of conflict.

Synonyms: whore, tramp. Derivations: slutty (adj.), sluttier/sluttiest (superlatives). Related Adjectives: easy; immoral; loose; cheap. “That slut has slept with every man in this room!”

“That girl is such a slut—I can’t believe that she cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend!”

“Look at that slut in her mini-skirt! She is not wearing any underwear!”

“I don’t want to talk to her! I hate that slut!”

“That slut is easy like Sunday morning.”

4. Slut: with 4011 votes

A girl thats fucked so many guys she cant close her legs anymore

look there she goes, delilah the slut

5. Slut: with 3317 votes

1. a girl who has sex but does not enjoy it, who is used by guys and lets them do it. She does not have the self respect to make them stop.

2. a girl who likes sex, so she does it. She probably is not in a relationship, and she equalizes herself to guys by treating sex the same way they do.

The difference between the two examples of what society labels as “sluts” is that one has self respect, the other does not. No one should be called a slut anyway, especially when the name “slut” is a purely judgmental and stereotypical one, and no one really knows the real story behind it all, which is pretty much always the case.
“She has sex…therefore she must be a slut.”

I completely disagree with that, but that’s how society sees it.

Conclusions on the Word ‘Slut’

A slut has the morals of a man. Technically-speaking, the definition isn’t confined to sex. Here’s where I am standing in quick sand, because I refuse to jump to the conclusion that men have no morals, even when it comes to sex. What do you think?

It is correct to say that the ‘slut girls’ model themselves on the standards of men. This point of view becomes becomes a bit confusing for second wave feminists like myself, who sought to rewrite the rules and laws of social engagement and civil law, created by men.

Because I am very supportive of men today — believing that they’ve made major progress in the last 40 years — I would feel better if so many ‘quality’ men of every age and occupation didn’t tell me that they are dogs.

I’m deadly serious here. Men speak very freely to me, because they understand that I don’t judge them and I’m generally supportive of their progress.

Are Men Dogs?

“Men are dogs, Anne,” they say.

“Stop it,” I respond.

“No seriously, Anne, men are honest-to-god dogs. We’re not complex like women. Mostly, we want a piece of available ass.”

“But men have made so much progress,” I respond. “Men are far better fathers. They do lots more housework.”

“We’re better, Anne. I agree we’re better. But you must understand what you’re dealing with. Don’t give us credit for being what we’re not.”

Progress Defined

Perhaps they are right; life is never perfect. I awoke this morning to a message on my Blackberry, a carryover from last night’s dinner invitation. He continued:

He: ” I’ve been hanging out in Geneva.”

Me: “For pleasure? You want to move there? Biz oppty?”

He: “I’m getting an apt in Geneva.”

Me: “Ok. That is good. You can tell me over dinner.”

I went to bed.

He: two hours later: “Yes baby. I would love to fuck you Thurs. night.”

Reflecting on his words, seven minutes later, He wrote: “I am very sorry for the very explicit exchange.”

Reading his words at 5am this morning, pre-French Roast coffee and not intending to write this Journal article, I paused and reflected. He is a good man and a good friend.

In fact, he’s a pillar of a man, in terms of honoring his responsibilities to a fault.

Pausing, I wonder: “Am I ‘a slut’ to him? Is that why he felt free to speak to me that way? We haven’t seen each other in weeks.”

Reflecting on other men I know, I asked myself the same question.

This business of being the ‘slut girl’ is on my mind, because I’ve been reading a lot of Jezebel and the new Slate website Double X.

Preparing to launch a monthly subscription newsletter Redtracker, I’m reading, and digging into the archives of Jane and Sassy — which is how I remembered the Riot Grrrls.

Writing on Sensuality News about the opening salvo between Double X and Gawker Media’s very popular Jezebel last week, I must have sounded like a little old lady.

I was astonished that one of Jezebel’s editors called herself the ‘Slut Machine’.

Fallen Angels

Is this the state of modern musedom? I remind myself not to be judgemental.

I marched for the right that Tracie could own Gawker Media, not just write for it.

If she wants to be the ‘Slut Machine’, I support her decision. And I admit that I don’t really know how many twenty-something women identify with her and with the ‘slut machine’ moniker.

Young girls call each other sluts … and then they lie sobbing in bed at night, as if adolescence isn’t challenging enough.

If Tracie truly feels empowered in this photo, then who am I to say that she’s not?

Truth Serum

So where are we at with this ‘slut business’? I do know that I can’t blame men for saying “I want to fuck you, baby” when my younger sisters are arguing that being a ‘slut’ empowers me.

No wonder men are confused about what women want.

This ‘slut identity’ is a women’s issue that doesn’t involve men. If we women can’t agree on the most fundamental planks on how we are viewed by society, then we can’t blame men for being so direct in expressing their sexual thoughts to us.

Returning to UrbanDictionary one more time, I seek further clarification around the most approved definition of ‘slut’ as “a woman with the morals of a man”.

UD posts related words in blue boxes at the top of the page. The empowering words should appear in this related zone, as words that reinforce the most popular meaning of ‘slut’.

The blue box words for slut are: 11 sounds, whore, bitch (see Morey Safer interviewing Anna Wintour about being a bitch), skank, hoe, cunt, sex, prostitute, tramp, hooker, fuck, girl, slag, easy, pussy, ugly, vagina, ass, dick, dirty, cock, cum, penis, trick, gay, loose, slutty, nasty, fat, woman, asshole, stupid, pimp, std, sexy, loser, fag, shit, cum dumpster, blowjob, tart, anal, twat, store, hot, female, promiscuous, paris hilton, head.

Summoning of the Muse

My dear young Jezebel ladies. I’d say you’ve got a ways to go on your mission to make ‘slut’ an empowering word, even in your own age group. Why exactly do you want to own that word?

Perhaps ‘slut’ isn’t an equivalent of African Americans using the ‘n-word’. The power of the ‘n-word’ comes from blacks knowing that the majority of whites are afraid to use it. This is not the case with ‘slut’.

Good luck, but I honestly wish you would change course. Smart Sensuality is far more redeeming and a real chance to regain a manageable amount of muse status.

Building a Curb-Height Pedestal for Women

I, too, feel that a pedestal is confining. But getting down off the pedestal doesn’t mean that we abandon everything of value in womandom. A man thought twice before messing with any of the ancient muses. And like it or not, men turned to the muses for the advancement of civilization.

Surely we can agree on some elevated, modern-day elevated plank for women that celebrates our bravura without covering us in mud.

I suppose that’s a tricky concept, too — the advancement of civilization — but then we all know that I’m not the most egalitarian woman on the planet. No apologies for being me, but lot’s of love to all of you. Anne

Reader Comments (4)

Hello Anne,
I'm not sure how I came across your columns but I'm pleased that I did. Browsing through your posts, what I'm surprised about is the lack of comments. Why would that be, I wonder?
What occurs to me is that, in many parts of the world, even America, personal philosophy seems to be based generally on choices between simplistic binary options. (In some countries, there are no options at all.) Perhaps there is discomfort in accepting that most of life is lived in the grey zones because that means you have no easy 'certainties'.
Then there is the matter of time. As we travel through life we all change, either by design or, more likely, as a result of our experiences. This does not necessarily mean we get better, just that nothing stays the same. To accept the concept of time implies that you accept there are no absolutes, and perhaps that is another source of discomfort.

As far as this and other articles go, I find the issues that you debate relate to a culure that is particular to America (and perhaps the UK). That you debate them so passionately is part of the culture as well, and, unfortunately, in many parts of the world (the Middle East and Africa) you would not be allowed the platform.
I think that your concept of smart sensuality could be too difficult for many, for reasons I've already given, above. On the other hand, having lived and worked in Brazil for many years, it seems to me that Brazilian women don't know any other way to be.
With regard to all men being dogs, that is a perfect example of a simplistic outlook. I would accept that many men might go through a stage of behaving that way, and some of those might never mature out of it. Perhaps we need more muses (part-time of course) to help inspire them to grow-up.

Whilst I'm here, I would like to say that your post on Tango was excellent. Argentine Tango is much misunderstood and you went a long way to try to clear-up the misconceptions. A key point is that whilst the man's job is to lead, a lead is not a command but an invitation. If the lady misses it or rejects it or just flirts with it, he must be flexible enough to adapt and gracefully continue the dance.

Enough said - thank you for providing so much engaging material!

Best wishes - Graham.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGraham Jepson

Thanks Graham. Your excellent comment went to spam, and I just found it. The lack of comments used to bother me but after 5 years of writing and a 50% readership that continues to climb with an enviable rate of conversion statistics, I have a lot of confidence in my perspective and influence on people's thinking. The term 'smart sensuality' does come up with my Facebook friends unprompted and they 'get it'. But yes, the world in which we live -- and especially in America -- is not one where deep thinking about the complexity of issues -- and especially gender relations -- is acknowledged. For me, knowing that 350,000 unique visitors a month across the multiple websites are reading these thoughts is enough. Ironically, it is men who are more likely to verbalize support around my perspective or engage effectively with me on the advancement of women's rights around the world, and especially in Sudan. I think many women think I have just too much testosterone in my willingness to be blunt about our own complicity in maintaining our state of affairs. Best, Anne

August 25, 2012 | Registered CommenterAnne

Dear Anne...

This post caught my eye, particularly the question in the title. I feel I have a bit to offer on this subject since I have been touched by the Muse. My experience was as the legend describes it: the gift of a life altering enhancement of abilities imparted by a beautiful woman. I'm quite serious here, no jest at all. Fortunately for me I was a self aware man before I met her or her gift might have totally unbalanced my life. It took me five years, give or take, to balance her gift into the remainder of my life, to understand what had actually happened, to fit a rational explanation to the events and perceptions of that time. I believe I can offer an explanation of the Muse's gift based in current science that does not degrade the gift, but rather opens a path to a valuable perspective from which to examine your question.

I have not seen this thought elsewhere, but never the less I will assert the gift of the Muse is actually the flip side of the same psychiatric mechanisms which produce the pathologies known as sex/porn addiction. In those afflicted by that addiction modern science has found marked and sometimes permanent alterations in several key elements of brain chemistry in direct proportion to the subject's exposure to sexually charged material. Chemistry, not psychology. The affliction is real, the cause measurable in physical reality rather than the constructs of personality. Of course, the doctors would only have reason to study those for whom such changes produced a pathology in a life, they would have little reason and even less opportunity to study those of us for whom such changes produced a positive impact.

Consider the legend of the Muse herself: a woman impossibly beautiful, impossibly seductive, impossible to refuse, impossible to endure for any great length of time. As the legend describes her she is exactly the sort of woman you'd expect to produce such lasting changes as were observed by modern science. Simply keeping her company is an intoxicatingly erotic environment, she not only personifies but amplifies the nuances of the wholesomely erotic, in and of herself she personifies life and life yet to be, her presence defeats and dismisses the sterile deformations of the pornographic.

Before I can say more I must define how I use the word "slut." For myself I define that word as any person, male or female, who misuses their sexuality to balance or counterbalance some other deformity in their personality. I don't see the word as a reference on sexual activity as such but rather a word describing a set of conflicted and destructive inner motivations producing the sexuality observed. From that definition I would say it is impossible for a slut to host any of the Muses, the Muse is a wholesome creature of inner balance and beauty, a slut is not.

But there is another set of factors to be considered in this equation, and that is the attitude of the man (or woman) exposed to such influence. I would think it likely their attitudes will have an equal bearing on how the "gift" will impact their life. Given an identical stimulus a person sexually prejudiced, judgmental and repressed might receive nothing, or might find the encounter introduced a pathology into their life where a person comfortable in themselves with the true power of the erotic (the creation of new life) might suddenly find themselves as I did, having to remind myself not to speak in iambic pentameter to the clerk in the grocery store.

Anne, the gift of the Muse can only be imparted to those willing, and able, to receive it. Those unable to receive that gift will not call it a gift, they will call it a curse. A great many of the politicians you condemn in your blog no doubt fall into that category. Anyone can be an inspiration, but the gift of the Muse goes far beyond simple inspiration, it is a much deeper thing, it demands a great deal from both parties involved. Where the Muse is concerned…

Every artist sees her will transposed upon the dawn,
The sculptor cannot still his hand till marble holds her form.
Every minstrel vagabond will sing of her by night,
When the fire has cooled to gold and stars are silver bright.
Every poet hears her voice the echo in his verse,
The rhythm of her laughter the meter of his works.
Every man she touches will feel a thrill of fright
To know his very soul laid bare revealed to her sight
For hers is the seduction of what a life might be
Free of fears that chain a heart to lesser destiny.

Hers the ancient spirit lets suckle dreams unborn,
Nurtured as her children, a love to call her own.
Yet few who chance upon her will understand her worth,
How beauty fostered in the world rebukes the barren curse
Of those who muster only hate to try and rule the earth
For fewer still are strong enough to stay within her heart
And share the labor of her love delivering new art.
So seek her at your peril, oh man born to the earth
For what she gives and what she takes
Sets small the Titans’ work.

"Of Man and Muse"... dedicated to my muse

October 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCyranos DeMet

Anne, and for all women that read this, feeling some man regards you as his Muse, let me help this topic along. I know very well what it is to have a Muse in my life. If the man makes plain any sexual advances, he does not feel for you as his Muse. Instead, as fascinated has he is with you, showering you with gifts and compliments, and if you put the moves on him, and he stops like a deer in the headlights confused, you are his Muse. Muses outrank any other women. Girlfriends and wives do not cut it. A Muse causes the man to be more happier with himself around the Muse because her influence makes him better. To him, it is a supernatural experience, and though he may not consciously recognize his actual feelings for her, it can never be sexual, because he actually regards her not as human, but as a supernatural being. So all of this talk about a Slut having something to do with the modern version of a Muse is sadly so wrong. Women who are worthy of being a Muse are generally hated for their superiority. It is this hatred by other women that wears on the Muse's self esteem to the point that they internalize it, and begin sadly considering that society considers them as Sluts. Gals, if you really are someone's Muse, it is only proof of your innate superiority. Money, Career nor Feminism cannot ever bestow this highest feminine power and honor.

January 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephen

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