Tango Trend Puts Couples In Touch Again

The growing popularity of tango is no accident,  but another expression of a more sophisticated and mature eroticism sweeping across America.

Yesterday’s New York Times reports that Buenos Aires, birthplace of tango, has emerged as the “new hothouse of cool”. Artists, expat musicians, Europeans and Americans are thriving in the sensuality of Argentina.

Via Flickr’s FrizztextFive years ago I did a client presentation that was so scorching, we all waved imaginary fans in the Atlanta heat.

We spent three provocative hours, discussing the coming intersection of beauty, wellness and now sexuality in the marketplace. I spritzed around the vaginal lubricant gel I was working on at the time, played scorching tango music in the automated segments of my presentation, and then ended with a final warning:

“If you don’t listen to me on this subject of grownup sensuality and a New Eroticism, I will take my clothes off in October. I’m done playing nice on this subject.”

Handing out eagerly accepted gifts of my tango music compilations, I added: “And if you don’t go home and have an inspired sensual experience tonight, then God help you. Your libidos are in very serious trouble.”

Tango is intoxicating. What is it about tango that fuels our sensual desire, especially female desire.

Tango is for (Temporary) Lovers.

I hate to state the obvious, but tango typically involves a man and woman getting physically intimate with each other. (Note, I’ll eventually offer you a steaming tango video from the movie ‘Frida’ featuring two women.)

Tango is not solo dancing, or  “look at me … am I hot or what?”  Simply stated, tango is greater than the sum of its parts.

via Flickr’s by Luna♥In our physically disconnected world, tango is an empathetic coupling of two humans, expressing the language of desire. Even if the dancers have just met, or are accompanied by spouses, the tango breaks down barriers and awakens the dancers senses to each other. 

For an instant, they are a couple, fueling the imaginations of all present.

Once famously described as “the vertical expression of a horizontal desire”, tango embodies the thrill of unconsummated potential. Relying on the art of suggestion, it is dance as a kind of kinetic seduction technique.

Tango is Erotic

Especially with milonguero or close embrace style, the movements of the dancers often resemble sophisticated, grownup sexual foreplay.

Tango is a carnal conversation, a three-minute love affair. Its signals are centered on the expanded chest of a man and the uplifted breasts of a woman, but the whole body speaks its piece. Often your heads rest together, cheek to cheek depending on your height, legs completely intertwined.

Tango is Voyeuristic.

It’s a smoldering, dangerous, back-alley-hot siren’s song, like watching August lovers in a small Southern town, where all the motels are full. The lovers have no choice but to make love in public, and we have no choice but to watch them from darkened sidewalks. Their provocation stirs the recesses of our own restless minds.

These complete strangers lure us into a serpentine lair of sensual intimacy, expectation and arousal. They frankly, boldly awaken our own sexual desire without quenching it.

Ostensibly, the man is in charge, initiating a conversation of movement that’s the ultimate sexual seduction. There’s a transfer of raw energy in which the man becomes the director in a modern world, where women take more power away from him every day.

The male ego is center stage and full of confidence. Just as many modern men are attracted to self-assured women, the same can be said for the sexual affect this sensitive alpha man has on the female imagination. His charisma fuels her lust.

via Flickr La RouteTango is not politically correct, in a world where business colleagues are concerned about appropriate behavior around the water cooler. In this seductive space, a profound, if momentary, intimacy is encouraged among total strangers. The stronger the sensual chemistry between the dancers, the more erotic the experience for everyone.

Tango allows strong women to invite surrender in the arms of a her equal. It’s a form of sensual submission with boundaries in place and no fear of the outcome. After all, the foreplay of tango is never consummated in sex. That’s the intrigue.

After watching the videos, and reflecting on my own sensual power exchanges, I find the most erotic tango, tto involve a passionately strong woman like Jennifer Lopez in Shall We Dance.  Her own sexually charged power can ignite the man’s passion and imagination, making her boldly erotic in her submission to his male dominance.

This temporary female capitulation is sensually arousing to both partners, and to the audience. The stronger the woman, the more erotic the moment. In our increasingly gender neutral world, men and women play their traditional  roles. In the heat of the dance, they know they are equals. Appearances aside, the shared sexual chemistry supercedes whose foot leads first.

Tango is about Power Exchange

Tango is Respectable and Real

Tango once enjoyed a wicked reputation for being exotic and overtly sexual. Born in the Argentine bordello and danced by men and prostitutes, tango was considered lower class. For an acceptable woman to dance tango was out of the question.

Today people of every class embrace the eroticism of tango as a public face of a much larger global sensual revolution, one with major impact in America. Tango is not about false celebrity and supermodels. It’s an authentic expression of real, human, sensual desire.  We see ourselves in tango dancers.

The rules of tango mirror those of our larger society. Respectability must be maintained, even as it’s redefined.

What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas.  Or it’s supposed to remain private. People all over America are engaging in astonishing behavior. Not your neighbor, of course… but the friend of your neighbor. And not you. Definitely not you.

 Tonight we have Dina Matos McGreevey denying that she engaged in an ongoing MFM with her husband Jim McGreevey and his friend Theodore Pedersen. Did she or didn’t she? Only three people know the truth … until the next set of details break in the story. Perhaps on one occasion …

Make no mistake. We are not entering a period of restrained sexuality in America. Exactly the opposite is occurring … which is why appearances mean everything. Rules are made to be broken, but the facade is crucial. After all, some of us are parents for heavens sake.

As a woman dancing tango, you don’t need to be a 34DD supermodel to inspire your audience. Tango isn’t splashy and girlie. It’s for confident women for OWN their sensuality and aren’t defined by their breast size. They do love their bodies.

As for the men who savour these seductive creatures, they probably don’t want every supermodel’s phone number on speed dial. Maybe one or two … at least in their dreams.

Reality is, they’d gladly invite that woman on the dance floor to bed. She understands something about sex and eroticism that the girls on training wheels have yet to comprehend.

This woman’s mystery lies in the fact that she’s a serious competitor in the bedroom, and not just a catwalk tease. In our evolving New Eroticism, women do have higher expectations in bed, but they also know how to deliver.

This trend should make men in America very happy … if feeling just a little bit pressured to produce their own, sensually-enhanced experience in an artfully wrapped package.

I did promise you a dance from Frida… . which reminds me that the prominent anthropologist Helen Fisher believes that female bisexuality, as distinguished from FMFs — that glorious male fantasy — will be the sexual hallmark of the 21st century. I think we can assume, guys, that there will be some overlap. Anne