Updated Nov. 6, 2010: These Pine-Sol commercials remain my favorites on the subject of men and housework. We just posted a new survey out of Britain that strongly supports the argument that men in many countries want more childcare responsibilities and are happier doing housework with their wives, who also work full-time. See British Fathers Adamant About Need for More Family Time.
I couldn’t read the data without thinking of my favorite Pine-Sol commercials.
That’s the Power of Pine-Sol, Baby
Consider, guys, that Christmas is coming. Don’t make it about empty words this year. Choreplay or chore play — it’s all music to women’s ears.
How about an inexpensive gift of “cleaning coupons”? You will get far more sex in 2010, handing her a privatized “honey do” list. Cleaning coupons reap far more benefits than $100 worth of short-lived roses. If there’s no sex in your relationship, and you’d like to remedy this perceived problem, a dust mop might be the place to start.
Watch this video for a glimpse of living the good life in a Pine-Sol house.
For a true Smart Sensuality woman, this Pine-Sol commercial might be even better.
Pine-Sol | ‘Visitor’
If you’re a regular reader, you know that I don’t rag on men generally about housework. Especially younger men have made amazing progress, leaving the greater challenge of women agreeing that in total, the numbers are adding up these days.
The extraordinary popularity Porn for Women a cheeky picture and words book, with men donning rubber gloves and grabbing the dust mop proclaims, “Men who share the load (of laundry et al) inspire lust.”
Really? Is a man wearing an apron and rubber gloves the new sex symbol? Is a clean home the key to igniting a woman’s libido?
Grands Sexe et Travaux Ménagers
Never judge a book by its cover. Let’s get under the sheets. Hmmm … choreplay. It’s a new word to me, but one my pretty little head can understand.
Preferred Choreplay (chore play) Definition at UrbanDictionary.com:
When a woman is turned on by the sight of her husband/boyfriend/partner doing regular household chores, that she would normally be doing.
Ex: “Last night, it was all about choreplay. I was all ‘OH YEAH, fold that laundry. Oh yes, just like that! In half and, then in half again. OHHH’”
Doomed Definition of Choreplay: Foreplay that is not performed out of enjoyment, but rather out of a sense of duty (or entitlement).
“I just wanted to get my game on… the last thing I wanted to do was get caught up in choreplay, but damn, she was so demanding.”
Let’s get serious here. Researchers at The American University of Beirut studied 1,652 married couples and found that “wives whose husbands were minimally involved in housework were 60 percent more likely to be distressed, three times more likely to be uncomfortable with their husbands, and more than twice as likely to be unhappy.”
Message: if a wife has to do all the chores around the house, she’s more likely to be unhappy. No survey needed to confirm that probability.
A recent survey by Parenting Magazine found that “choreplay,” i.e., husbands pitching in around the house, was what put 15 percent of moms in the mood.”
Big deal. This hardly sounds like a bonfire about to inflame the next wave of the American Sexual Revolution. What about the 85% who aren’t turned on by choreplay?
If you take a pragmatic approach, choreplay is another way of stating the obvious. Today’s women must be masters at multi-tasking. Many of us are juggling work duties, Blackberries, social functions, and family and relationship issues.
We don’t need research to tell us that less stress = not being exhausted = better chance of getting some nookie.
Imagine this: after a rough day at the office, a woman comes home to dishes in the sink, baskets of dirty clothes, and a crying baby. And now you want her to read Jenna Jamison’s How To Make Love Like A Porn Star?
Get a grip, boys and grab the Dirt Devil. In this context, choreplay (chore play) makes sense. But how about another angle on this housework argument?
Are We Happy Yet?
Modern women have reinvented the norms for a clean house and happy, successful kids. Most American women pursue perfection in standards unknown to our mothers and grandmothers. In counting down the hours to bedtime, our obsession with creating the perfect nest leads some women to conclude that housework is more mentally therapeutic than sex … awful but true.
I believe that women like housework, because we control the entire project. It’s like mowing the lawn … those waving blades of grass become perfectly manicured. The process has a beginning and an end. No bureaucratic delays or whining kids with their own point of view.
If the truth be told, women are ambivalent about giving up housework.
What’s the end result of this battle? The man will correctly complain that he is not getting enough sex. He isn’t. And women delude themselves into thinking that a clean house makes them happier than sensual intimacy — I did not say sex, although hopefully she’ll get to that part with enthusiasm.
A smart man will take a proactive approach. Perception is everything with women.
Instead of trying to convince his beloved that her cleaning compulsion is irrational, he’ll don his rubber gloves and get down on his hands and knees. She feels like he’s ready to give her some, and who knows … she just might reciprocate.
Do we Alpha women resent being the only one washing dishes and pushing the vacuum cleaner”? Is housework also about gender power and self-esteem?
Does choreplay give a woman’s libido a Hoover boost because she enjoys more self respect? We know one thing for certain. The connection between self-esteem and libido is a hot button issue.
According to Neil Chetnik’s 288 husband VoiceMale Survey, the more satisfied a wife is with the division of household duties, the more satisfied a man is with his married sex life.”
And guys, I hate to tell you, not doing your share of housework was a strong predictor among Chetnik’s husbands, for wives having an affair. Her libido may not be oozing for you, but she’s twice as likely to spread her legs for somebody else.
Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due
The facts are that men ARE doing more housework. In recent time studies, men’s total work load now equals women’s. They’re doing much more work at home — not as much as women who produce 19.4 hrs/wk compared to men’s 9.7 hrs. — but much more. And men work longer hours at the office.
Combining paid and unpaid work, the genders are balanced. Men have also dramatically increased their time spent with children. The sacrifice is in couples time.
We women must ask ourselves if we will ever give men a break on the facts around work: paid and unpaid.
Porn for Women: Gateway To “Choreplay.”
“Porn for Women” won’t turn you on, unless you have a genuine housework fetish. What are these Alpha Girls really up to? This question deserves my getting under the whole bed, not just the sheets.
A Mr Clean Tornado When Both Partners Meet in the Laundry Room
It seems counterintuitive that couples who do more housework individually or together have more sex. Yes, even when working full time, people who do more housecleaning, also make more time for l’amour. High energy leaves them with hot libidos and demanding desires.
It seems that women with mops are in the mood — or could be seduced with the Hoover. Indeed chore play if foreplay.
Quoting from new research in our Oct. 2009 housework story: Couples in the survey had sex 82.7 times a year on average, the researchers found, which translates to roughly 1.6 times a week. An above-average couple where the wife does 68 hours of housework a week and the husband 45 hours would have sex 15 more times a year — or 1.3 times more each month — than a below-average couple where the wife does 16 hours of housework a week and the husband two hours.