Modern Romance & Searching for My Tantra Goddess

align=”left” style=”text-align: left;”>Botticelli’s ‘The Birth of Venus’

Tracking modern romance and the evolution of sexuality is part of my life’s work. Most days I think we’re going in seemingly opposing directions at the same time.

Will we really experience our first dates in a virtual world by 2012? Will we go back to basics, hiring professional matchmakers, using technology, to help us find Mr. and Ms. Right?

Embracing Our Inner Eros

This week I looked into the past, in an effort to understand the present.

The past few months, Paris is abuzz with musings about the “Hell at the Library, Eros in Secret”.

I left the Parisian exhibit immersed in the blatant eroticism of the women in these 350 sexually explicit works of art. The Japanese etchings of men pleasuring women, treating them like Goddesses, stayed with me for days.

Finding Our Inner Goddess

Many years ago, I wrote a thesis on pre-5th century Greece matriarchal society and Goddess worship. The power of female form on the male psyche, creating backlash as well as affirming results, has always intrigued me.

The ascendancy of women is now a key theme of the 21st century. As women’s lives change dramatically, our psychological relationships with men will again evolve in new directions.

“Their love will live on forever …”

via Flickr’s designidgThis evolution is accompanied by a corollary trend, the search among both sexes for a soul mate. Marriage and partnerships are increasingly not primarily about procreation and property. This trend is so strong, that the future of children is under debate.

Today we seek loving mutuality and intimate connections in our partners. Sex is a key part of that connection, with great emphasis on the woman’s need for extended pleasuring.

Sensual Pleasuring

This is hardly a modern concept. Ancient Tantra, Tao and Kama Sutra traditions put intense focus on female sensuality, creating an intimate platform in which sex becomes a divine experience.

Patriarchal evolution impacted these traditions as well, but we have a long, rich history of goddess worship, in which female sexuality was celebrated as a life force.

In Tantra, explains Sex and the Perfect Lover, “spiritual consciousness is intimately related to the awakening of the goddess, who holds the power of universal creative energy. The power possessed by female energy is so great that at times it becomes uncontrollable. That is why Tantra seeks, in the sexual act, the pleasure of the woman as a form of ecstasy and as a form of evolution for both partners.”

Cosmic Union or Disunity?

In Tantra, the universe was born from the cosmic union of the male and female principles. Our sexuality becomes a mystical path, bridging human love and divine love, while creating deeply connected intimacy between partners.

The divine sexual practices of Tantra butt heads with the contradictory messages of Christianity about sexual love.  Thankfully, increasing numbers of pastors and priests emphasizing the role of positive sexuality in relationships and marriage, recognizing that the very institution of marriage is at risk in modern life.

Flickr photographer John© (Czarcastic)’s comments and superb photo captures these two colliding concepts of Western and Eastern religion: Two Indian nuns outside St Sulpice (Paris) earlier today.There is an outside exhibition of photography from every continent. This image from India depicting a sexual position from Kama Sutra held their attention for over 10 minutes! Cultural nostalgia or a feeling they are missing something? You decide!

Keeping marriages sexually alive not only nurtures our health and wellbeing, but the very institution of modern marriage. Meeting a man fully committed to nurturing female sensuality is a heady experience for any woman, leaving us enthralled and exposed at the same time.

High Stakes Love

The stakes are emotionally higher for both parties in modern relationships, when love replaces the more pragmatic pursuit of procreation and creating life stability.  

Our senses are on fire and our hearts, male and female, are bursting with emotion as both sexes embrace this pursuit of a truly intimate union with a loving partner. Today’s young men share the soulmate goal. If women today buy 85% of all Valentines, perhaps men will change this percentage, as we move towards soul mate status relationships.

The Medium Is the Message

My writing focuses on visual impressions because we live in any increasingly image-driven, Marshall McLuhan culture. It’s time to make an exception, turning to our sense of hearing this week.

My Funny, Touching Valentines

Chris Botti is a favorite of mine, especially when he was promoting European chill music in America. Unfortunately, chill didn’t succeed, even in New York. I still love enjoy lounge music and buy a lot of it in Europe, especially at Virgin Paris. Follow this link for a wonderful Chris Botti and Sting offering of My Funny Valentine.

Last Fall I used several songs from Dame Shirley Bassey’s fabulous CD “Get The Party Started” for a design presentation. I LOVE this compilation.

Choosing one of Bassey’s songs for you, is like eating only one gourmet chocolate truffles. Impossible.  Tasting this one — Where Do I Begin  — is probably too revealing this moment, but Anne is not one to hide behind the rose bushes. The video also can’t be embedded, but please follow the link. It’s a gorgeous listen.

My last offering is a deeply arousing, humbling song from Buddha Bar II. Stumbling over it on You Tube caused me to tremble, because using it for the first time in 2005, I always wondered what it would be like to love someone this deeply.

The words and sounds are a perfect tribute to Tantra, goddess worship, soul mates and our eternal yearning for intimacy and deep love. It is a perfect Valentine and a summary end to today’s journal.

To all, Happy Valentine’s Day.

Love always,
Anne