Prepare to laugh. Sex & Culture and Green Beings are teaming up again at Anne of Carversville.
The day began with a smile, reading that Sharon Stone said that Meryl Streep looks like ‘an unmade bed.’ Stone professed that she meant no offense, but the remark sounded like Iman saying saying the First Lady Michelle Obama isn’t beautiful - in a true beauty sort of way.
Iman, too, explained that the remark was actually a compliment. We women have the strangest ways of reinforcing each other’s confidence. Back to Sharon and Meryl.
Saying that Meryl Streep looks like an ‘unmade bed’ led the London Times to contrast the rarer ‘unmade bed’ woman with the ‘pristine pillow’ one. Surely, you see were this story is going. Which camp are you in?
Thinking about ‘unmade bed’ women and ‘pristine pillow’ ones was all I needed to be off and running, because I love the Blanche Dubois vision of the ‘unmade bed’ heroine who towers above the rest of us mere mortals.
Make no mistake. I run a tidy ship but I could relate to this story. By the time I finished with Unmade Beds | Pristine Pillows: Which Woman Are You? I even added Ivana Trump looking pretty ‘unmade bed’ in her underwear and Sharon Stone — the ‘pristine pillow’ bare-breasted on Paris Match to celebrate her 50th birthday.
There are advantages of moving ‘sexy’ to its own channel, to keep Old Ladies Rebellion civilized.
Here’s the clincher, and I had to post it here, because we all know that women are serious about their housework. The BBC reports that untidy beds may keep us healthy.
I repeat, an unmade bed may be a sign of decadence, sloth and too much champagne last night, but it may also be our first line of dense against the 1.5 million bed bugs (and legions more) that want to camp out with us each night.
The bugs, which are less than a millimetre long, feed on scales of human skin and produce allergens which are easily inhaled during sleep.I know — forget how much antibacterial soap we use. Dust mites love a warm, moist atmosphere, especially a tidy bed that hasn’t had an opportunity to dry out during the day.
Professor Andrew Wardlaw, of the British Society for Allergy and Clinical Immunology, says that he finds it hard to believe that not making one’s bed could be a high-impact fighter in our ongoing war with dust mites.
The researchers are moving into 36 homes around Britain, to test their theory, and the truth of this scientific premise will be revealed.
My ‘connected dots’ theory has a flaw. I was about to say that ‘unmade bed’ women not only have better sex lives but fewer dust mites at home. But the deciding factor could be complicated by damp, sweaty bed linens, a new scientific variable.
As long as we don’t dig too deeply, if this news is good enough for the BBC, it’s good enough for us. We can assume for now that Meryl Streep, Ivana Trump and all the ‘unmade bed’ women of the world have fewer dust mites.
As for the ‘pristine pillow’ women, perhaps household life isn’t quite as perfect as it appears.
If you just can’t relax about an unmade bed, consider calling the PineSol man for help. No, no. Do not use cleaners or chemicals.Y ou’ll pollute the environment and kill no dust mites.
Then again, the Pine Sol man might make an ‘unmade bed’ woman of you, and you’ll forget all about a few million dust mites hanging out in your 400-thread count linens. Anne