Anne of Carversville

Impossible to believe, but I just read in The Female Thing that recent studies put the number of women who don’t “consistently have orgasms” as high as 58%. Wow!

Cutting through hundreds of books, magazine articles and TV interviews, statistics confirm that women are not meeting up with the Big O in the bedroom. Dear ladies, the importance of orgasms is in the hands of science these days, not self-help books or bloggers like me.

Food is a significant factor in promoting heath and wellness, including sexual vitality. When I first wrote this post 18 months ago, we ended up in the kitchen in planning our orgasmic strategy. Not visually sexy, beets were our focus in 2009 and they got another libido boost today. 

New Health Research on Beets

Before we focus on women and orgasms, let’s talk about today’s new research on health and wellness benefits from drinking beet juice. 

Researchers at William Harvey Research Institute at Queen Mary University in London concluded that patients who were given a 250ml glass of beetroot juice a day experienced a reduction in blood pressure comparable to those who took nitrate tablets.

The benefit is driven by nitrates producing a gas known as nitric oxide in the blood vessels and arteries and lowers blood pressure. The effective and immediate reduction in blood pressure has long-term benefits on cardiovascular health, potentially impacting mortality from heart health and strokes. 

Today’s announcement only reinforced prior research on the extensive health benefits of beets.

Previously, researchers from the University of Exeter and Peninsula Medical School found that the health benefits of beets could be as effective as a demanding physical training regime. Healthy young men were able to increase their stamina by up to 16 per cent after drinking a glass of beetroot juice for a week.

Nitric Oxide and Sexual Response

While the stamina research was conducted on men, there is no reason why it doesn’t apply to women. The effects of nitric oxide in women’s circulation is also scientifically verified. Pulsing circulation impacts not only male erections but women’s sexual organs, which become engorged with blood under the impact of nitric oxide’s benefits.

An increase in sexual desire isn’t automatic, but I maintain that when your sexual organs are engorged with blood — a sensation that many women can feel — that desire accompanies the sensations, unless your brain is saying “no way”.

We all agree that a woman’s brain rules sexual desire. But we also know that the pharmacological results of the recent flibanserin survey is that American women’s sexual desire and successful ‘events’ were significantly improved when taking the placebo. The boost from the placebo was greater than the drug’s. 

Practically-speaking, drinking beet juice may have a similar effect on women. Drinking it provides major health benefits for lowered blood pressure and improved circulation. Feeling positive about taking better care of your body, a woman just might notice more tingling than in the past, in her private parts.

Sexual Health Benefits of Orgasms

Maybe I’m very off the mark in thinking that most women even care about orgasms. Perhaps many more women agree with “I’d Rather Eat Chocolate”, than I understand or care to admit.

Millions of women bristle with the thought that a lack of orgasms is any kind of life deficiency. They carry on quite well without them, thank you.

The 32 Health Benefits of Sex don’t all focus on orgasms, but they are key to achieving maximum health benefits. Orgasms promote enormously positive health benefits for women’s health and wellbeing, to say nothing of enhancing human intimacy and happy marriages.

Orgasms are like vitamin pills, better than B-12 shots and easy to self-administer. They provide fantastic stress relief and focus, an in-touch moment with the woman who is you. At AOC we broadcast a message that orgasms are good for both genders and a key part of living well — even if flying solo. 

Who’s In Charge in Women’s Orgasms?

I’ve never left my sexuality in the hands of a man, to get it right … although I’m delighted when he makes a good effort.

To state matters correctly … when we try together to enjoy mutual sexual pleasure … maximum intimacy is the reward. Balance and togetherness in the bedroom is as critical as success in the kitchen. No one is officially the head chef in Anne’s kitchen, although I’ve been known to enjoy being the sous chef on occasion.

Acknowledging the bisexuality trend, it’s still men and women who are a majority trying to “get it on” together. And it’s women who aren’t enjoying the Big Band of pleasure that comes from doing it right.

I speak emotionally and psychologically, as well as physically, when I speak of the Big Bang … or Small Bang. Any Bang will do, thank you, and we must remember that the most sexually satisfied woman has a repertoire of Bangs, from a pleasurable ebb to a mega-wattage orgasmic explosion.

Why is this O-thing So Darn difficult?

Good sex is not a man’s responsibility, ladies; it’s a joint one … no matter what he says. I do agree that if he’s the 5-star General in bed, you should call Houston … unless BDSM is your thing.  I assume that you all know that BDSM has nothing to do with beets. 

Under the Covers

Repression is a favorite topic of mine, because I have studied the ambivalence of American women about our sexuality for years … in books and research, in my 10-year career at Victoria’s Secret, and in my own psyche.

The difference between Anne and most American women, is my personal determination to forge ahead productively on this topic … and to understand my own role in this ongoing battle with self-image and sexual ambivalence.  (Note: to launch this effort, I’m resurrecting an unpublished 80,000 word manuscript on the sexual wellness.)

My focus is not on how men can do better in the bedroom. I’m convinced they are trying hard in the majority of cases — a view that doesn’t always make me popular with women. Twenty years it was OK to bash men about their bedroom learnings. All research says men are trying very hard to please their lovers. 

Do they fail miserably on occcasion? Absolutely.

Cooking w/Charlie. “Oh my! I’ve never seen food look like this! So pretty!!!” And they are beets!

Do we women give them help in getting it better? Let’s just say that it’s easier to sigh with regret, than help men along supportively. It’s more fun challenging men to be mind readers and then saying “I told you so”, when they don’t get things right.

Our men should know these sexual matters techniques, right? How many years does it take before the light bulb goes on in the male brain? He can’t help it. He’s wired to be selfish and ego-centric, translated … men are generally not good for much and hopeless. Oh except . . gee, we sure want one in our lives. 

Bottom line, who says that female satisfaction is a guy’s responsibility? Believe he’s trying and give him some help. 

A General or Just Trying To Get Ahead

Some men believe this idea. Rolling up his sleeves, they say “this is a man’s job, honey.”

If progress and orgasmic bliss are the true goal, we must don rose-colored glasses, even in this silly situation. I truly believe that most men are trying to do the right thing.

We ladies can blame 25 assorted cultural mores, and MEN, for our lack of orgasms (and everything else wrong in our lives) … or we can repackage the topic as our own need, taking responsibility for getting them on our own if necessary because we want bloody orgasms, and we will have them, come hell or high water — or beet juice.

Orgasms and Beets

Beets-7341 Note: her beet infactuation becomes more graphic. AnneWhich brings me back to the subject of beets … yes, beets.

Reading the 11 Best Foods You Aren’t Eating, one of the most viewed 2008 stories on the NYTimes, launched this essay on orgasms.

I’m not a sex expert, although the world of sexuality is the cornerstone of much of my professional work for decades. Nor am I a master chef, although I did cook a multi-course, sit-down dinner for 150 people.

My talent and value in the marketplace is connecting the dots.

Beets are totally good for us, a true Superfood, and yet we have a national beet deficiency.

Beets - orgasms, you see? Wait, I have more to my argument — and that was before today’s beet announcement about major new health benefits.

The more beets I looked at this morning, the more I saw a lot of synergy between beets and orgasms. Starting with a lowly beet photo — most likely nonorgasmic beets — we’ve worked our way into some pretty yummy beet recipes.

Beets are suddenly — well, just a little bit sexy — when you think of making a chocolate-beet cake.  I now look at beets differently, having invested in the process of getting to know them.

What if we look at orgasms in this light. Let’s stop our search for the ultimate orgasm and just have one little one. I recommend doing it solo, although … If you run for the gismo, fine, but personally I think you should make your orgasmic pursuit a personal touch experience. How do you connect with your new beet-induced euphoria without touching yourself?

Culinary Beet Sirens

What talent and energy, creativity and excellence we women have, in the kitchen and out!

What if we become Sirens besides!! Let food be our accomplice. Confident Sirens are disruptive and hot to handle. Think Nigella Lawson or Cleopatra in the kitchen. Yes, there are downsides to cranking up siren status.

As long as you’re being Nigella Lawson, believe that the men (man) around you will find you an enchanting siren, and not some hussy. If he wonders about beet juice on your shirt, tell him the stains reflect your new commitment to healthy eating at home.

Do your best to mess up the top button. No wait … have beet juice on your fingertips and none on your shirt but be very concerned that you’re about to get it on your shirt, because it will stain permanently.

If he’s clueless why you’re standing there after 10 years of marriage with your palms raised, like you’re ascending into heaven, don’t berate him. Let him think you are an angel. 

Just ask him if he can give you a hand. And wear a black lace bra. Forget red; he’ll know you planned the whole event. What respectable woman wears a red bra, even if men’s tongues hang out over red. Once he finds a black lace bra under the top button, he’ll figure out the rest. 

If he insists on beets with his black lace bra, give him a cocktail to beet the heat, courtesy NYT. 

Nigella Lawson Tribute